Life coaching and mentorship, by phone and video.
I do not have to know the answers to help you find them.
They are already in you. Most of the work is getting quiet enough, and honest enough, to hear them. I have been doing this with people for about a decade. It is now open as a practice.
The first call is free and its only job is to find out whether I can help. If I cannot, I will tell you, and I will tell you who can.
Not a stock photo.
practice
field training
deliberately
call
What this actually is
A conversation with someone who is genuinely good at listening.
Trained to watch for patterns. Not going to tell you what to do with your life.
You talk. I listen properly.
Most people have never had an hour where someone was paying complete attention. It is a stranger experience than it sounds, and a lot of what people came looking for turns up inside it on its own.
We find the pattern.
Feelings are not random. They just arrive faster than the explanation does. The work is slowing that down until you can see what actually sets it off, and that is a skill rather than a personality trait.
You decide what to do.
I am not going to hand you a plan for your life. You already know more about your situation than I ever will. What I can do is help you get it out of the fog and into words you can act on.
Sometimes fixing something in yourself changes the trajectory of everything around you. You do not have to fix someone else in order to understand them.Jessica
That sentence is most of my work with two groups in particular: people trying to survive somebody else's addiction, and people trying to work out what to do about a relationship. In both cases the other person is usually not in the room and usually cannot be changed from the outside. What can move is you, and it turns out that moves more than people expect.
Who I work with
Five kinds of stuck I know unusually well.
Coaches who say they help everybody help nobody in particular.
You did well and it feels wrong
Imposter syndrome, guilt about out-earning the people you came from, and the quiet certainty you are about to be found out.
Read this →Your child was just diagnosed
For first-time mothers of autistic and special needs children, in the part nobody prepares you for: the part that is about you.
Read this →Someone you love is using
For the partner, the parent, the adult child. I do not work with the addiction. I work with the person whose life is being shaped by it.
Read this →You cannot afford to leave
For women whose options are limited by money, where every piece of advice online assumes a choice you do not currently have.
Read this →You cannot name what you feel
You know something is wrong. You cannot say what, or when it started, or what sets it off. This is learnable, and it is where many people start.
Read this →Not on this list?
Book the free call anyway. Some of the best work I have done was with something that was not on any list, and the call costs you nothing.
All five in full →Where I come from
The method came out of fieldwork, not a weekend course.
A background in psychology. Forty eight weeks of field training working directly with autistic children. A field-work case study where I gathered and analysed real behavioural data. Time in a rehabilitation centre with adults in addiction. And about ten years, informally, of being the person people call.
None of that makes me a clinician and I am careful about that line. What it means is that the way I work came out of real rooms with real people, where you had to write down what actually happened rather than what you assumed happened.
Signal and Source
The practice I hand people most often. Write down what the feeling felt like first, physically, before you name it. Then write down what was going on around you.
The reversal is the point. A feeling arrives before its explanation does, so if you start with the explanation you record the story you already believed.
How it works
Four steps, and the first one is free.
A free call, about 15 to 20 minutes
You tell me roughly what is going on. I am listening for the edges of it, and for whether I am the right person. There is no pitch on this call.
If we are a fit, we book
I send you a payment link on that call. Sessions are $125 for an hour or $75 for half an hour, by phone or video, anywhere in the US.
We work
Usually weekly at first. Between sessions you can reach me, and how that works is something we agree on at the start rather than something I leave vague.
You tell me how it went
After every session you get a short email asking what helped, what did not, and what you want more of. I read them, and I change what I do.
Read this before you book
The most useful thing on this website might be what I refuse to do.
I am a coach and a mentor. I am not a licensed mental health professional, I do not diagnose anything, and coaching is not health care. There are situations where the right answer is somebody else, and I would rather say so on a free call than take your money.
What I do not do
The boundary in plain language, and exactly when to see someone else instead.
Read this →Coach, therapist, or AI
An honest comparison of all three, including the rows where I lose.
Read this →What happens to what you tell me
Why I am not bound by HIPAA, and why I keep almost no written records on purpose.
Read this →